


Fade (Cessation)

by princelogical



Series: Queerplatonic Logince Verse [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Arguing, Asexual Character, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 18:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelogical/pseuds/princelogical
Summary: “You’re up at two in the morning making coffee and leaving me all alone in my cold, cold room.”“Roman, it is June. And Thomas resides in Florida.”Roman laughs and grips onto the counter, hoisting himself up to sit. “Pour me a cup, would you?”“You hate coffee.”“I do,” Roman says with a smirk. “But if you’re up, I’m up too and we’re talking.”or.It’s time to talk some things out.





	Fade (Cessation)

Logan has just set the coffeepot on the counter when the lights in the kitchen flicker on and Roman stands in the entryway wearing his knee-length red lounge robe. His arms are crossed and the the frown of concern etched into his features overpowers the sleepy expression on his face. Logan pretends not to notice. Instead, he reaches for the coffeepot and his mug and pours a cup.

Roman’s sigh fills the kitchen. “Darling,” he begins.

“Don’t.”

“My Beautiful Man-”

“Roman-”

“Dude.”

“Oh my God.”

“My favourite absolute _nerd_ ,” Logan snorts against his will, “what are you doing up?”

“I believe you have eyes, do you not? Can you not put two and two together?” Logan asks then sets aside the coffee pot and stirs two tablespoons of half-and-half in his coffee.

“You’re up at two in the morning making coffee and leaving me all alone in my cold, cold room.”

“Roman, it is June. And Thomas resides in Florida.”

Roman laughs and grips onto the counter, hoisting himself up to sit. “Pour me a cup, would you?”

“You hate coffee.”

“I do,” Roman says with a smirk. “But if you’re up, I’m up too and we’re talking.”

“It is not healthy for you to stay up with me at this hour. It is detrimental to your health and-” Roman fixes Logan with an incredulous look in his eyes. Logan coughs. “I will get you a cup.”

“Thank you,” Roman says then leans against the cabinets behind him. He runs a hand through his messy hair and smiles down at Logan. “So. Did you wake up randomly or have you been asleep at all?”

“I… had not fallen asleep,” Logan admits as he makes his way over the fridge and grabs Roman’s Hazelnut creamer. He hands Roman a cup of the coffee and then the creamer.

“Thinking?” Roman asks. He pours a large splash of creamer into his coffee and grabs a spoon from the sink beside him.

“Something akin to that, yes.”

Roman hums in acknowledgement as he stirs his coffee then sets aside his spoon. “Today bothered you.”

“Today did not _bother_ me. That would be ridiculous and illogical,” Logan snaps. Then, at once, he winces. “I apologise. I-”

“It’s fine.” Roman takes a long drink of his coffee. “So, today bothered you.”

Logan lets out a long breath through his nose. “Thomas kissed him.”

“He did. Wasn’t it great?” Roman asks.

Logan laughs. “It was… unmoving. For a moment, it felt like it would be all right.” Logan’s lip curls. “But then. Then Thomas figuratively threw all Logic out the window and asked him to be his boyfriend!”

“Yes. So?”

“It was not previously discussed! There was no planning involved. He just… suddenly. Without thinking, asked him.”

“And that upsets you.”

“Yes! Because now Thomas has a boyfriend and… do you realise how out of my limit I am here, Roman?” Logan begs. “I am… terrified.”

Roman watches him with an expression Logan cannot read. Finally, Roman sets aside his coffee. “Do you trust me, Logan?” he asks solemnly.

Logan swallows. “I… I do.”

“Thomas loves this man. This man loves Thomas. And I know this is terrifying for you because not much Logic is involved in these kinds of things. And Thomas can get _hurt_. That’s terrifying, isn’t it?”

Logan’s grip on his coffee mug is so tight, he feels like it might shatter. “Thomas said he’s trying to listen to us more. But he did not consult me. At all. He is an adult; he can make his own decisions. But he could at least consult me. Even without knowing what _happened last time_!” Logan flinches as his voice raised higher and higher. Slowly he shrinks back, drawing a fist against his chest, trying to steady his breathing.

Roman observes him, then leans back against the cabinet, closing his eyes, giving Logan the privacy to fumble and pant until he’s breathing at a more regular pace again.

“I apologise, that was an ill-timed and needless outburst. I apologise.”

“It was neither ill-timed nor needless, Lo,” Roman says patiently, opening his eyes again. “Sometimes, we’ve just gotta… scream. Let it out.”

“Astute observation, however, you seem to forget that it is two in the morning and that is a highly inappropriate time to be shouting.”

Roman laughs. “Virge is probably wide awake. Today affected him too.”

Logan’s eyes widen. “I… I forgot. I should go aid him.” He moves to walk off, but Roman sticks his foot out, smacking it softly against Logan’s chest.

“Patton’s taken care of Virgil. Let me take care of you.”

Logan scowls. “You can barely take care of yourself.”

“Hypocrite say what?”

“That worked on Virgil, but will not work on me.”

Roman smiles slyly. “All right. You’re being difficult. Because…” Roman pretends to think, then snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up in faux-realization, “you don’t want to get down to the actual issues and be vulnerable by talking about them!”

Logan grits his teeth, running an unsteady hand over his pant leg. “Roman. You are being annoying.”

“Logan. You’re being deflective.”

“I am suddenly… quite tired.”

“Then we’ll talk tomorrow. And you’ll find an excuse to get out of it then. And we’ll put it off another day and another until you’ve bottled everything up inside and explode. This is an intervention. I, Roman Sanders, your dashing and handsome queerplatonic partner and bff for life, am intervening.”

“New word?” Logan quips.

“I referenced a dictionary just for this conversation.”

Logan rolls his eyes, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms in defeat. His eyes burn, something foreign and strange prodding at the lids. He brings the heels of his hands under his glasses and to his eyes; he swipes aggressively, ignoring the way Roman watches him, eyes filling with tears of his own.

“Pathetic,” Logan mutters to himself.

“Far from it,” Roman says. “You’re allowed to cry.”

“Did I ask for your permission?” Logan snaps, something horrible within him wanting Roman to just go away so he can end this pathetic display in private.

Roman doesn’t even flinch. “Nope. But you know me, asserting my princely authority whenever I can.” His gaze averts, eyes looking forward. “Need a tissue?”

“No,” Logan says. But his nose is running and tears keep coming, so he doesn’t decline it when Roman leans over, offering a box of tissues from the counter. 

He searches anywhere within him and draws out a piece of courage. “Objectively, it is understandable why it would be difficult to have difficulty trusting Thomas after what occurred last time regarding this situation,” Logan says.

“Of course,” Roman affirms.

Logan folds the tissue in his hands and takes a steadying breath. “I was entirely helpless. My physical form had faded. My voice was silenced. I couldn’t do anything.” He swallows. “Thomas would never intentionally harm me- I trust that. But the first time was unintentional, and he still doesn’t even know he did it. What… if it happens again?”

Logan puts up a hand before Roman can comment. “And I understand that, logically, the chances of such a thing happening once again are slim to none. Thomas listens to us and heeds us far too often for such a thing to happen again without his awareness. But I cannot help but fear… That since he does not realise what happened the first time, he is more susceptible to allowing what happened to happen again. Unintentionally.” Logan hesitates. “I think very highly of Thomas, but he can be a bit…”

“Careless,” Roman finishes.

A hesitant smile edges at Logan’s lips. “Yes. Careless.”

“Want to hear my input?”

“If I say no, will it make a difference?”

Roman laughs. “Maybe. Probably not.”

“Then go ahead.”

“So.” Roman pushes himself down from the counter, feet planting against the ground. “First off, I think the biggest issue here is that we never told Thomas.”

Logan flinches. “There is no point in telling Thomas and there never was. It is… humiliating enough that you, Patton, and Virgil know.”

Roman looks pained. “Humiliating? Logan, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Of… of course. However, it does show weakness on my part- a weakness which I would rather not share with Thomas.”

“It wasn’t weakness,” Roman says.

“Roman, if I had simply asserted more control over the situation- made a better attempt to be heard, perhaps-”

“Logan,” Roman snaps fiercely, “you’re not gonna stand here and blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Look at it _logically_ ; if Thomas knows what happened, what he did wrong in the first place, we can all prevent it from happening again!”

“I’m not telling him,” Logan shouts. “I refuse.”

The kitchen goes silent and all Logan can hear is his heartbeat roaring in his ears, body trembling. Roman’s glaring at him, fists clenched. He raises his finger as if prepared to make another point, but before he can say a word, Virgil is storming into the kitchen, in a t-shirt and sweatpants, wearing his “fuck off” sleep-mask like a headband. He stands between Logan and Roman and glares viciously.

“I was gonna leave you two morons alone to talk it out but I draw the line at yelling. You woke me up and almost woke Patton. So shut the fuck up.”

Roman has the grace to look abashed and Logan feels his throat tighten with shame, crawling nastily through his every thought.

“Either figure out a way to solve this quietly, or just go to bed and figure your shit out in the morning. I don’t care.” Virgil takes a deep breath and looks between the two of them. “Kapeesh?” The two nod then Virgil nods back in satisfaction. “Good.”

The two are quiet as they watch Virgil stomp back out of the kitchen and up the stairs. There’s another long moment of quiet until Logan clears his throat. The two glance at each other briefly before Roman mutters, “We should sleep on it.”

Without another word, the two make their way into Roman’s room. They slide into bed and Roman turns over to flick off the lights. It’s quiet and tense for a long moment until Roman whispers, “I’m sorry, Lo. I was harsh. I’m just worried about you.”

Logan takes a deep breath. “I know.”

Roman turns over and meets Logan’s eyes. “Promise we’ll finish talking in the morning? Instead of always… putting everything on the back burner?”

Logan slowly nods. “I apologise for yelling.”

“It’s okay.” Roman squeezes his hand. “We all make mistakes.” Logan watches the way Roman grimaces at that as if mentally berating himself for the reminder. Logan squeezes Roman’s hand reassuringly and Roman smiles.

“Night,” Roman says.

“Good night.”

/*\

_Logan’s dream is something more like a memory. He feels like a passenger in his own body as he watches on as everyone is yelling, panicked and frantic._

_“What do I say?” Thomas asks desperately, clutching his phone in his hands, eyeing them all with nervousness clearly written on his expression. The words, “I love you,” are typed on the screen from Thomas’s boyfriend._

_“Ignore it! Don’t reply,” Virgil says._

_“Tell him you love him back!” Patton and Roman shout over each other._

_Logan can’t feel his body; his voice won’t work. He’s completely paralyzed, completely invisible. The others keep shouting. Thomas trembles, clutching the phone tighter against his chest. Logan needs to help them, needs to help ease the situation. But he is helpless; he cannot do anything to help them despite being right in front of them._

_And no one seems to notice he’s gone._

/*\

Logan jerks awake, immediately reaching to the bedside table for his glasses that he clumsily shoves on his face. Roman snores beside him, face squished against a pillow and one hand loosely thrown across Logan’s ribs. Carefully, Logan moves Roman’s arm and climbs out of bed and gets dressed, ignoring the glow of the clock reading, “7:34 AM.”

He quietly makes his way down the stairs into the living room of the mindscape. Sunshine peeks through the windows, illuminating the living room in a faint light. Logan takes a moment to admire the colours of the sunrise, then goes into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. He rinses out the half-full mugs from last night, then places them in the dishwasher.

It’s only when the new pot has just finished brewing that soft footsteps pad into the kitchen.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton’s soft voice says.

“Salutations.”

Patton smiles then looks to the window, letting out a low whistle. “It’s so pretty. Makes you feel like today’s gonna be better, huh?”

Logan looks at Patton who looks back at him with a gentle smile. Finally, Logan nods.

“Yes. It a very… pleasant sight.”

The two shuffle around the kitchen in quiet after that; Logan fixes his mug of coffee and Patton pours himself a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Virgil comes down halfway through, without a word, and pours himself his own cup of coffee. He grunts at the two then shuffles over to the couch where he flops down and begins scrolling on his phone.

Finally, Roman arrives, once Patton and Logan have seated themselves at the table; Patton with his cereal and Logan with his coffee and a cup of yogurt. Roman doesn’t say a word, just busies himself in the kitchen until he comes out again, two plates in his hand. He sets on in front of Logan and Logan manages a soft smile at the presentation of an apple, strawberries, and blueberries, all sliced and placed in an arrangement of a heart on the plate.

“Oh, that’s so cute,” Patton says and immediately rises, presumably to make his own (and likely one for Virgil as well.)

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan says.

“Of course,” Roman says. They eat quietly until Logan lowers his spoon and attempts to meet Roman’s eyes.

“I had a dream about it last night,” Logan says. There is no need to specify what “it” is, for the look of recognition on Roman’s faces is enough to indicate that he knows what Logan is referring to.

“Yeah?” Roman asks, shoving a blueberry in his mouth.

“Yeah. It was quite disturbing.” Logan takes a deep breath. “You were right. I need to tell Thomas.”

Roman takes a pause. He swallows slowly then reaches over to grab Logan’s hand. “Are you sure? I know I was adamant last night, but the reality is, it’s your experience. Your tale to tell. I shouldn’t rush you into anything.”

Logan shakes his head. “I know. However, I have considered it and you are correct. Never telling him is not fair to him and not fair to me.” He takes a deep breath. “I believe- I’ve become so afraid that recounting it would make it more likely to happen again. Illogical, I know.”

“Feelings don’t have to be logical,” Roma says.

Logan laughs. “No, they do not. I think telling Thomas would be… like lifting a figurative weight off my chest.”

Roman grins, squeezing Logan’s hands tightly. “I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing. And brave. And-”

“Roman,” Logan scolds, cheeks heating, “stop it.”

“Fine, I’ll stop,” he says dramatically. He smiles. “I love you, Sir Nerd A Lot.”

Logan smirks. “Do you, now?”

Roman rolls his eyes. “Oh, come now!”

Logan shoves him gently. “The feeling is mutual.”

“You two are disgusting,” Virgil says grumpily, flopping down at the table.

“Now, Virgil,” Patton chides, coming over to the table holding two plates, setting one down in front of Virgil. “Be nice.”

“There’s no such thing as kindness before twelve PM,” Virgil grouches. Patton giggles and presses a kiss to Virgil’s cheek, sitting down beside him. A small smile creeps up on Virgil’s face.

“Oh, I do believe the Emo Knightmare is smiling!” Roman says. “Do you see that, Logan?”

“Shut up, Princey,” Virgil growls. “It’s too early for your… you.”

“My iridescent presence isn’t lighting up your early morning existence?”

“Not at all.”

“Too bad,” Roman says, pressing a hand to his chest dramatically. “You’re missing out.”

“Kiddos,” Patton says. “It’s breakfast, let’s all be nice!”

“We are being nice,” Virgil says. “This is just how Roman and I express our moderate tolerance for each other!”

“Be still, my heart,” Roman quips.

Logan snorts, biting down on a piece of the apple on his plate. It would be fair to say that this was not what he had planned for his life a couple months ago.

But sometimes, a change in plans isn’t a bad thing at all.

**Author's Note:**

> This officially concludes the “Fade” subplotline part of the qp logince verse. Consider this an (early) Valentine’s day gift to y’all lovely and supportive people! Whatever your relationship status- Happy Valentine’s day and I hope it is a good one. Remember to celebrate love in ALL its beautiful, wonderful forms.


End file.
